Healing Yourself Step One: Stop Being a Fucking Liar.

If you are still suffering then you are probably still lying. Yup that’s right. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I was suffering for a long time. I was working a job I didn’t want to work. I was in a marriage I no longer wanted to be in.  I was in friendships and relationships with people I didn’t even enjoy. I felt alone, misunderstood, unheard , unloved, you name the bad feeling, I felt the shit. It took a really long time to figure out that lying was the root of the problem. And as you know that no problem gets solved if you don’t get to the root of it, and work from there. So that is exactly what I did. Come to find out, I had made a habit of lying to myself, and through doing that I was hurting those around me. I was notorious for lying. I am not ashamed to say it either. I was a people pleaser and a perfectionist. There is no way that you are either a perfectionist, or a people pleaser, and not a liar. They are one and the same. 

I was extremely fearful of judgment, failure, and rejection. I had an incessant need to be loved, and was willing to take whatever scraps of “love” that were being rationed. As opposed to doing the shit myself. I can’t tell you how many times I have lied and said yes to spare feelings, so that I did not have to experience the pain of what saying no may feel like. I didn’t like to be the reason anyone got upset or was disappointed.  I avoided saying no at all cost. Opening myself up, and granting just about anyone that would ask, access to my energy. Telling the truth is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I am certain that it is the hardest thing that any of us can do. Why? Because, lying is easy as fuck! A lie can be any fantasy your creative mind can draw up, but the truth is what the fuck it is, the TRUTH! Simple. The truth cannot be altered. It cannot be manipulated or tweaked. It is what it is. Even when it is knocked out, covered up, buried, locked away, or tucked, it doesn’t matter, it’s still the fucking truth. That’s why the truth is so ugly by the time it gets told, it has been through hell and back to have its voice heard. Saying yes in spite of yourself is self betrayal. Self betrayal is poison to the soul. Once you become brave enough to tell the truth, you can start healing the self inflicted wounds of self-betrayal.

Well, lie no more can I. Two years ago, I finally got the call for the job of my dreams. I have waited all of my life for this job. This was an opportunity of a lifetime. The job that called for me to drop everything and go to it. Not to mention it paid more than any job that I have ever had. There was only one qualification. That’s right, fucking honesty. What’s the big job you ask? The job… was for me to be myself. That’s it. Sounds easy as fuck don’t it? Well, it’s not. Training myself to always being honest was no easy feat, because lying was easy. We all know that humans are suckers for easy anything. We would live in a whole other world, if everyone was brave  and had enough wherewith-all to be honest. That is the world that I was sent to fight for, a new world.  A brave new world. Where people show up as themselves, always do their best, no one makes assumptions, or takes another’s choices personally. That is why I was given this very important purpose. The purpose of showing people what it looks like to live a transparent, authentic, whole hearted life. It all starts with being honest. I hope the world is ready, because I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!!!